Meaning of Matthew 19:10
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Matthew 19:10
This statement by the disciples in Matthew 19:10, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry," arises directly from Jesus' teaching on divorce. Having just declared that God's original design for marriage was indissoluble and that Moses permitted divorce only due to the hardness of people's hearts (Matthew 19:3-9), the disciples, overwhelmed by the implications of such a strict marital bond, express their shock and dismay. Their reaction reveals a significant cultural and practical challenge to Jesus' radical redefinition of marriage, which seemingly removed the perceived safety net of divorce. They interpret Jesus' uncompromising stance as creating an extremely difficult, perhaps even unbearable, marital reality, leading them to conclude that avoiding marriage altogether would be a more prudent choice for many.
Context and Background
The immediate context is Jesus' discourse on marriage and divorce, initiated by the Pharisees testing him (Matthew 19:3). Jesus appeals to the Genesis account of creation, emphasizing the divine institution of marriage as a permanent union of "one flesh." He then addresses the Mosaic Law's provision for a "certificate of divorce" (Deuteronomy 24:1-4), explaining it as a concession to human sinfulness, not an endorsement of easy divorce. The disciples' question is a direct response to Jesus' pronouncement that this concession is being revoked in God's kingdom, implying a return to the original, unbreakable standard. Their understanding of marriage, influenced by prevailing rabbinic interpretations that allowed for divorce on various grounds (e.g., Hillel's lenient view versus Shammai's stricter view), is challenged by Jesus' seemingly absolute prohibition.
Key Themes and Messages
The primary themes are the sanctity and permanence of marriage, the radical nature of Jesus' teachings, and the human struggle with commitment. Jesus is not advocating for celibacy as a superior state to marriage in all circumstances, but rather highlighting the profound difficulty and divine ideal of a lifelong, faithful union. The disciples' statement, while seemingly negative, underscores the immense weight and seriousness Jesus places on the marital covenant. It also implicitly points to the need for divine grace to live out such a demanding commitment.
Spiritual Significance and Application
Spiritually, this verse calls believers to a high view of marriage, recognizing it as a sacred covenant reflecting Christ's relationship with the Church. It challenges the contemporary cultural tendency towards casual relationships and disposable marriages. The disciples' reaction serves as a reminder that embracing God's design for marriage often requires a supernatural enablement, a reliance on the Holy Spirit to foster love, forgiveness, and perseverance within the marital bond. For those who are single, it can also highlight the intentionality and commitment required for those who do choose to marry.
Relation to the Broader Biblical Narrative
This teaching aligns with the overarching biblical narrative of God's covenantal faithfulness. Marriage is presented as a foundational institution established by God from creation, intended to reflect His own character and His relationship with His people. Jesus' words in Matthew 19, by reinforcing the indissolubility of marriage, point back to the unbroken covenant God desires with humanity and forward to the eschatological fulfillment of God's kingdom where such perfect unions will be realized. The disciples' difficulty in grasping this ideal foreshadows the ongoing human struggle to live out God's perfect will in a fallen world.
Analogies
One analogy to understand the disciples' reaction is like being told that one must now run a marathon without stopping for water or rest, when one was accustomed to frequent breaks. The disciples, used to the "breaks" of divorce, are shocked by the demand for unwavering endurance in marriage. Another analogy is that of a craftsman being told to build a masterpiece with only the finest, unblemished materials, rather than having the option to use slightly flawed pieces. The ideal is higher and demands greater skill and dedication.
Relation to Other Verses
This passage is closely related to:
- Genesis 1:27-28 and Genesis 2:24: These verses establish the creation ordinance of marriage as a male-female union intended for procreation and companionship, forming "one flesh." Jesus directly references these to ground his teaching.
- Mark 10:2-12: This passage in Mark contains a parallel account of the same teaching, reinforcing its importance.
- 1 Corinthians 7:10-11: Paul addresses the issue of marital separation and reconciliation, affirming Jesus' teaching on the permanence of marriage while offering counsel for difficult situations.
- Ephesians 5:22-33: Paul uses the marriage of a man and woman as an analogy for the profound spiritual union between Christ and the Church, emphasizing love, sacrifice, and mutual submission.
- Matthew 19:11-12: Jesus responds to the disciples' statement by speaking of "eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven," broadening the discussion to include those who choose celibacy for vocational reasons, implying that both committed marriage and intentional celibacy are paths that require extraordinary dedication and are gifts from God.

